Chapter 7 - The Yellow Ribbon
Daniel looked at the notebook as if it were made of live electrical wire. His breath came in shallow, jagged gasps.
"Take it, Dad," Ethan urged gently, the anger entirely gone from his voice. "She wrote it during her last round of chemo. When you were working double shifts at the plant to cover the experimental treatments. She stayed up late writing it."
Daniel took a step forward, his boots feeling like lead weights. Slowly, reverently, he reached out and took the journal from Ethan's hands. The leather was worn at the edges, soft from where Sophie’s hands had held it during long, painful nights in the oncology ward.
Sarah sat down on the edge of the bare mattress, unable to stand any longer. "Daniel, open it."
Daniel sat beside her on the floor, leaning his back against the wall. With trembling fingers, he pulled the yellow ribbon loose. It fell like silk onto his work jeans.
He opened the first page.
Sophie’s handwriting greeted him, accompanied by a small, funny doodle of Daniel wearing his grease-stained work cap:
*Dear Dad,*
*If Ethan gave this to you, it means you're probably being stubborn. You're probably working seventy hours a week, drinking too much black coffee, and refusing to talk to Mom about me. I know you, Dad. You think you're supposed to be Superman. You think because you couldn't fix my blood, you failed me.*
*I need you to listen to me right now. You didn't fail me.*
*Every time you held my hand while I threw up, you were my hero. Every time you worked all night so I could have that stupid medicine that tasted like copper, you saved my life for one more day. I don't want you to forget me, Dad. But I don't want you to hate the world because I had to leave early.*
*Turn to page 42.*
Daniel turned the pages rapidly, his tears splashing onto the paper, smearing the ink.
When he reached page 42, his heart stopped.
Taped to the page was a photograph none of us had ever seen before. It was taken from her hospital bed, looking through the glass window into the hallway.
In the photo, Daniel was sitting on a metal chair outside her door, his face buried in his hands, completely broken, weeping in secret so she wouldn't see his fear.
Beneath the picture, Sophie had written:
May you like
*I saw you every night, Dad. You never let me see you cry because you wanted me to think you were strong. But that night outside my room? That was the night I realized how much you loved me. You carried the pain so I wouldn't have to.*
Daniel let out a loud, strangled wail and pressed the open book to his chest, rocking back and forth as if holding Sophie herself.
