Chapter 3 - The Cost of Running

The private executive lounge on the forty-second floor smelled of polished cedar and expensive solitude. Floor-to-ceiling glass framed the glittering sprawl of Chicago beneath an ink-black October sky. It was a view I had paid eight million dollars to command.
Right now, it felt like an interrogation cell.
Pearl and Talia sat side by side on a cream-colored velvet sofa. Neither of them took off their coats. Talia looked around wide-eyed, her gaze darting between the crystal chandelier and the modern art on the walls, while Pearl kept her eyes locked squarely on me. At seven years old, she possessed the fierce, defensive glare of a soldier guarding a perimeter.
“They’re identical,” I murmured, leaning against the mahogany desk, unable to tear my gaze away. “Except for the eyes. Pearl has yours. Talia has mine.”
“Don’t romanticize this, David,” Abana said coldly. She refused to sit. She stood near the entryway, her coat pulled tight around her slender frame. “You gave up the right to study their features when you wiped your hard drives, disconnected your phone, and let your landlord tell me you moved to London.”
Every word struck with mathematical precision.
“I was twenty-four, Abana,” I said, my voice cracking under the weight of seven years of cowardice. “I was living on ramen noodles, failing out of my second startup, drowning in eighty thousand dollars of student debt. When you told me you were late… I convinced myself I was doing you a favor by getting out of the way. I thought you’d go back to your family in Boston.”
“My family disowned me the day I refused to terminate the pregnancy!” Abana’s voice finally broke, a sharp, ragged sound that made both girls flinch on the couch.
Abana caught herself immediately. She drew in a slow, ragged breath, pressing a palm flat against the center of her chest as if holding her ribs together.
“Mom?” Talia whispered, sliding off the sofa and rushing to her side. “Is your chest fluttering again? Do you need the nitro spray?”
“I’m okay, sweetheart,” Abana lied gently, stroking Talia’s curls with trembling fingers. “I’m okay. Sit back with your sister.”
I moved toward the small refrigerator disguised as a credenza, pulling out two bottles of artisan water and setting them on the table near the girls. “Pearl. Talia. Are you thirsty?”
Pearl didn't touch the bottle. “We don’t take things from strangers.”
“Pearl,” Abana chided softly, but there was no real reprimand in her tone.
“I’m not a stranger,” I said, crouching down so I was at eye level with them. My knees popped in the quiet room. “I know I haven’t been here. I know you don’t know who I am. But I’m your dad. And I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry.”
Pearl tilted her head, her gaze piercing. “If you’re our dad, why didn’t you come to our preschool graduation? Everyone had a dad. Marcus had a dad. Sophie had two. We had a picture of you on Mom’s old phone that didn’t even show your whole face.”
The room seemed to shrink. I looked at the floor, the truth too humiliating to voice in front of children whose childhood I had stolen.
My smartphone buzzed violently on the glass table. The screen lit up with twenty missed calls from Dorothy, five from her father—Arthur Vance, the primary venture capitalist behind my company’s upcoming IPO—and twelve urgent messages from my head of public relations.
The outside world was burning down. But for the first time in my life, I didn't care about the fire.
“Abana,” I said, rising back up. “The medical report. It says ‘without intervention.’ What does that mean? There has to be a treatment. A surgeon. A specialist in Zurich or Boston or—”
“It means a donor heart, David,” Abana cut me off ruthlessly. “And because my antibody panel is through the roof from complications during the twins’ delivery, I am at the very bottom of the national UNOS list. The doctors told me last Tuesday to get my affairs in order.”
She stepped forward, pulling a blue plastic folder from her purse and dropping it onto my mahogany desk.
“Sign the acknowledgment of paternity. Register as their legal guardian with the family court. When I don’t wake up one morning, I need to know they won’t be put into the back of a police cruiser and driven to a group home.”
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Her eyes bored into mine, burning with the final, desperate light of a mother who had fought until she had nothing left to bleed.
***